And again this blog has fallen by the wayside. I just never feel that I have anything to write about. Yes, there's topics that I'm passionate about, of course there are, but by the time I get time to sit down and write, the current events either aren't current anymore or I feel as though someone has already said what I wanted to say in a much better way.
There's always the way of those mommy bloggers, talking about their kids and their recipes and all the amazing ways they save money, but I never feel that I'm good enough at selling myself for that. And have you ever noticed how most of the women who do that still find time to be absolutely gorgeous in every single picture that they post? That most certainly is not me, but I suppose that it does raise a good point to be talking about.
I want my daughter to have a better body image than I do. I know that right now she looks at me and just sees the momma that she loves; she doesn't see the woman that main stream culture says is "too fat" or has bad skin or unperfect hair. For her, I am doing my best to never let her hear me talk negatively about myself. I don't want to teach her that she is wrong to think that I am lovely and beautiful just as I am. Not because I am vain and want or need those sorts of thoughts from my child, but because I don't want her to see herself as less than perfect. I want her to know that a woman can be happy with herself and her body if she's not a size 4 (try a size 24) and a C cup (yeah, we won't even go there). So I don't make negative comments in front of her. Ideally I wouldn't make them at all, but loving myself is a work in progress. It helps when I can look at my brilliant and beautiful wee girl and remind myself that my body made her. There are still times when that just absolutely blows my mind to think about- I grew a human being. How freaking amazing is that?
So maybe this can be a mommy blog. Not a fake, edited to be perfect one, but one that shows how things really are. Mom's don't have to look perfect, and parental relationships aren't always perfect. Because real isn't perfect, and love doesn't need perfect; I don't think love can survive the expectation of perfection. And for my daughter, I will not shy away from the camera or from recording the lack of perfection. I will not have to explain to her that Momma isn't in any of the pictures because Momma didn't like how she looked. I am Momma, and I am wife and daughter, and I am loved. It might not be perfect, but I think what I have is even better than perfect.
There's always the way of those mommy bloggers, talking about their kids and their recipes and all the amazing ways they save money, but I never feel that I'm good enough at selling myself for that. And have you ever noticed how most of the women who do that still find time to be absolutely gorgeous in every single picture that they post? That most certainly is not me, but I suppose that it does raise a good point to be talking about.
I want my daughter to have a better body image than I do. I know that right now she looks at me and just sees the momma that she loves; she doesn't see the woman that main stream culture says is "too fat" or has bad skin or unperfect hair. For her, I am doing my best to never let her hear me talk negatively about myself. I don't want to teach her that she is wrong to think that I am lovely and beautiful just as I am. Not because I am vain and want or need those sorts of thoughts from my child, but because I don't want her to see herself as less than perfect. I want her to know that a woman can be happy with herself and her body if she's not a size 4 (try a size 24) and a C cup (yeah, we won't even go there). So I don't make negative comments in front of her. Ideally I wouldn't make them at all, but loving myself is a work in progress. It helps when I can look at my brilliant and beautiful wee girl and remind myself that my body made her. There are still times when that just absolutely blows my mind to think about- I grew a human being. How freaking amazing is that?
So maybe this can be a mommy blog. Not a fake, edited to be perfect one, but one that shows how things really are. Mom's don't have to look perfect, and parental relationships aren't always perfect. Because real isn't perfect, and love doesn't need perfect; I don't think love can survive the expectation of perfection. And for my daughter, I will not shy away from the camera or from recording the lack of perfection. I will not have to explain to her that Momma isn't in any of the pictures because Momma didn't like how she looked. I am Momma, and I am wife and daughter, and I am loved. It might not be perfect, but I think what I have is even better than perfect.